http://celesteflint.wordpress.com/2007/10/04/hello-world/ Celeste Flint Mon, 07 Jan 2008 22:15:06 +0000 http://wordpress.com/ hourly 1 http://celesteflint.wordpress.com/2007/10/04/hello-world/#comment-2 rabeam Sat, 06 Oct 2007 21:39:24 +0000 #comment-2 Good 2nd post. I like this idea for the blog. It could be like an "ombudsman" blog, explaining why The Daily did or didn't do X. Excellent to put in links to the articles on the Jena 6, both locally and nationally. And the title (headline) has lots of words that a search engine might "like." Three suggestions: --You've probably identified the professor without actually naming him/her. Since he/she is being criticized, it would be fairer to seek comment from him/her. --Watch out for passive voice. The presence of "by" is often a signal, but it's not the only one. "Three nooses were hung (by someone)" is PV, as is "students were arrested and charged" (by someone) and "civil rights issues were brought up" (by someone). These are situations in which the "by" is implied. --Typo in the first sentence of the third graph, and more appear later. Be sure to proofread your work. ++ Good 2nd post. I like this idea for the blog. It could be like an “ombudsman” blog, explaining why The Daily did or didn’t do X. Excellent to put in links to the articles on the Jena 6, both locally and nationally. And the title (headline) has lots of words that a search engine might “like.” Three suggestions:
–You’ve probably identified the professor without actually naming him/her. Since he/she is being criticized, it would be fairer to seek comment from him/her.
–Watch out for passive voice. The presence of “by” is often a signal, but it’s not the only one. “Three nooses were hung (by someone)” is PV, as is “students were arrested and charged” (by someone) and “civil rights issues were brought up” (by someone). These are situations in which the “by” is implied.
–Typo in the first sentence of the third graph, and more appear later. Be sure to proofread your work. ++

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